I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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