She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize