Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize