Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
