don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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