I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
