i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
