i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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