I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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