She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
