Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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