You don't have asthma, your pregnant
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
