im about as happy as oj after his trial
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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