Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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