I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
