it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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