Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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