Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
