It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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