In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
