Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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