oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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