i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
