My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
