i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize