haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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