i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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