lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
