so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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