If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
