I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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