Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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