On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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