You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
