Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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