Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
