OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
