from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
