i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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