i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dick very happy bro
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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