pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize