Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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