I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
