he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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