I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
