just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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