i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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