so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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