belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
