wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
