found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
