God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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