You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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