we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I see more hoeing in ur future
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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