Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
