my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
