The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Drake has all the answers
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
